


He Gave Me the World

by Iloveadabarba



Series: While Sonny was Sleeping 'verse [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2018-12-14 23:47:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11793993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iloveadabarba/pseuds/Iloveadabarba
Summary: Exploring the "While Sonny was Sleeping" 'verse. Moments before Sonny's memory loss including their first kiss and proposal. Currently posting Rafael's POV during WSWS.





	1. Flirting

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted as "Are you flirting with me?" prompt request.
> 
> “I guess you could say, he gave me the world.” 
> 
> Before the memory loss...

Sonny felt his face flush as he finished his third glass of wine over dinner with Rafael. Their new friendship made Sonny absolutely giddy. He enjoyed being able to talk freely with Rafael about work, law and even his family without being shut down. They had begun to regularly have coffee after Sonny dropped off paperwork from the precinct. It was over coffee Sonny learned more about Rafael’s life at Harvard and his career in Brooklyn. Sonny loved listening to the man recount his greatest wins and most bitter defeats. 

Several nights they had gone to dinner after Sonny helped read over Rafael's notes for court. Dinner was when Sonny did most of his talking, Rafael was usually pretty exhausted from court. It was late but Sonny didn’t mind, both he and the ADA had the next day off. Tonight Sonny’s conversation had been limited by his slightly inebriated state. He giggled at something Rafael had said about Buchanan and a small hiccup followed.

“Detective, would you like to have coffee at my place?” Rafael asked as he reached for the bill. Sonny had protested the first time Rafael paid for dinner but the man had told him he wanted to treat Sonny for his help. 

“Rafael, you paid for the other ones, b-before, you know.” Sonny protested. Sonny grabbed Rafael’s hand causing the bill to fall back on the table. He tried to snatch it up but Rafael turned his hand so that they were now holding hands. 

“I am paying for it.” Rafael said firmly. Sonny noticed that although Rafael was trying to sound aggressive his eyes gave away a playfulness that Sonny wasn’t use it. 

“Sure.” Sonny felt his smile grow into a full Chester-cat like grin as he removed his hand from Rafael’s. With no inhibition he counted the money Rafael left on the table and was impressed by the large tip he left the waiter despite the slightly awkward service. The man had flirted openly with Rafael until Sonny had been on his second glass of wine. He had moved his chair closer to Rafael and had told the waiter, “we are fine” in a rather aggressive tone. Sonny was slightly embarrassed by his behavior but happy they had been left alone the rest of the night. 

They walked a couple of city blocks to Rafael’s apartment. Sonny leaned on Rafael as they walked and the man didn’t seem to mind. He was grateful for the support and warmth Rafael's body offered him. He had only been to the apartment once before but he could confidently say Rafael had done well for himself. The apartment was spacious and nicely decorated. 

Sonny felt a bit woozy as he entered the apartment with Rafael. He tripped on the door mat and luckily Rafael caught him. When Sonny looked up his lips brushed Rafael’s chin. 

“Oh God! I’m so sorry.” Sonny exclaimed, feeling his flush grow hotter. He knew his face must be pink. 

Rafael chuckled, “It’s alright, Sonny.” Rafael leaned in, his lips about to touch Sonny’s. “More than alright.” 

“Huh? Are you flirting with me?” Sonny blurted unable to stop himself. Rafael’s face went from shocked, to embarrassed, to a look Sonny was all too familiar with anger. 

“For weeks.” Rafael deadpanned, his expression now unreadable. He helped Sonny to stand and as soon as he was steady, he walked away towards his kitchen and Sonny suspected his mini-bar area. 

Sonny was an idiot. Rafael had been kinder to him. They had spent time learning what two people who were dating should know. They were dating. They were dating and Sonny hadn’t even realised it. 

“I thought we were having coffee.” 

“I think it would be best if you left, Detective.” 

“Raf-”

“I apologize if I did not make intentions clear. I can call you a cab…”

Sonny hated hearing the cold tone in Rafael’s voice, nothing like he had grown used to the past several months. He moved towards Rafael who was now pouring himself a drink. Feeling bold, Sonny wrapped his arms around Rafael’s waist and rested his head on Rafael’s shoulder. He felt the man tense up and stop pouring his drink. 

“Can we try that again?” Sonny mumbled. “Please?” 

Sonny could be easily reduced to begging but he didn’t have to. Rafael turned around and locked his lips with Sonny’s. It didn’t take long for the kiss to deepen. Sonny enjoying the taste of the wine lingering in Rafael’s mouth. Sonny whined when Rafael pulled away. 

“You’re drunk.” Rafael stated, sounding disappointed. 

“I had three glasses of wine.” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Yes, and you're the only Italian I know who is a lightweight.” Despite Rafael’s objection the man took Sonny by the hand and led him into his bedroom. Sonny started to feel unsure. He definitely was too tipsy for more than kissing, that and he had never slept with anyone he wasn’t in a serious relationship with. 

“You look as skittish as a rabbit. I’m not going to take advantage of you.” Rafael chuckled. He started to undress, looking at Sonny to do the same. Rafael guided a tense Sonny in only his boxers to his bed. Sonny told a moment to admire the shorter man in his briefs. His body was in Sonny’s opinion perfect. They climbed under the covers and Rafael pulled Sonny close to him. 

“If you wake up in the morning and still want to kiss me, then I will consider my flirting a success.” Rafael murmured, kissing Sonny’s bare shoulder, had running his hand from Sonny's waist to his back. 

Sonny let his eyelids close as he listened to the steady rhythm of Rafael’s breathing. He was definitely going to kiss Rafael when he woke up.


	2. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A morning with Sonny and Rafael when their relationship is still new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working very hard to keep these drabbles in line with the characterization of Sonny and Rafael in While Sonny was Sleeping. 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated! 
> 
> Barely proofread. I am just writing to keep my mind off the storm. You can read more about Harvey in the end notes.

Sonny opens his eyes and his realises he is laying on his back looking at a ceiling that isn’t his. It only takes him a moment to remember he is at Rafael’s. He smiles and rolls onto his side. Rafael is wrapped up in the sheets and comforter leaving nothing for Sonny. He sighs to himself and moves closer to Rafael on the bed. Rafael moans as Sonny peals back the layers that Rafael has curled himself up in. 

It was about a month ago that Sonny spent the night for the first time. He had been drunk and Rafael allowed him to stay with him although their relationship status was unclear. Apparently Rafael had thought they had been dating for weeks while Sonny had been completely obvious to the ADA’s advances. 

Rafael had nursed Sonny through a hangover the next morning and by the end of their day off Sonny had kissed the man of his own free will. 

“Rafael.” Sonny kissed his boyfriend’s neck, hoping to wake him before he needed to get ready for work. 

“MMMMHMM.” Rafael moaned. Sonny wasn’t surprised to learn that Rafael Barba was not a morning person. 

“Wake up.” Sonny encouraged, after removing the blanket from Rafael’s body he wrapped his arms around the older man’s waist and pulled their bodies close together. 

“Would you like me to make you breakfast?” he offered. Rafael’s head shook up and down, replying yes. Sonny chuckled lightly. He attempted to pull away but Rafael gasped his hand and place it over his obvious morning erection. 

“Or you could stay.” Sonny was shocked to hear sleepy Rafael form words so quickly. Rafael’s bulge was growing just having Sonny’s hand brush against it. 

“You need breakfast!” Sonny declared before leaving the bed. Before he left the room he noticed Rafael had wrapped himself in the blankets once again with a huff. 

Sonny made them some blueberry pancakes. It was still early in the morning and the sun hadn’t even started to rise. Since he started dating Rafael his nights seemed later and mornings earlier. Trying to spend time with each other could be a challenge with their schedules but Sonny was willingly to make it work. 

Everything had felt so natural when they were just hanging out. Then the transition from friends to boyfriends had been pleasant of far. Sonny was nervous that Rafael would soon get tired of him. He couldn’t be physically intimate with someone unless their was a emotional intimacy. That was building between them but Sonny could sense Rafael may be feeling impatient. As he turned off the heat to the skillet, he was about to call out for Rafael to come get breakfast when he felt a strong pair of hands latch onto his hips. 

“Good morning.” Sonny smiled. 

Rafael didn’t respond with words. He reached his arms around Sonny, his hands on Sonny’s stomach. Rafael rested his head on Sonny’s left shoulder and kissed his back through Sonny’s thin t-shirt. 

“Come back to bed.” Rafael muttered against Sonny’s back. 

“But breakfast…” 

Sonny gasped when he felt Rafael’s tongue on his neck. Lord in heaven, he knew his face was turning red. 

“I could have you for breakfast.” Rafael’s hand was no longer on Sonny’s stomach. 

“I-Ay-Raf-” Sonny had to do a little dance to shimmy out of his boyfriend’s gasp, “Uh, let’s just stick with pancakes.” 

Sonny saw a disappointed expression on Rafael’s face that was quickly masked by indifference. 

“If you insist.” 

Sonny set the table and served Rafael breakfast quickly, he hoped food would keep Rafael from being cross with him. They ate quietly. Sonny felt anxious the whole time. What if Rafael didn’t want to date him anymore? What if Sonny needed to just let Rafael use his body so he could save this new relationship? Sexual needs were different for everyone after all. 

He was so lost in his thoughts and he didn’t realize both he and Rafael had stopped eating. Rafael reached across his small table and put his hand over Sonny’s. 

“Sonny, we don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.” Rafael declared, “I want you but I need to you really understand that I love you for you, not to get off.” 

“You love me?” Sonny smiled. 

Rafael pulled his hand away and looked at his plate. 

While Sonny struggled with sexual intimacy, Rafael struggled with emotion intimacy, what a couple they made. 

“I mean, you did make me pancakes and the sun hasn’t even come up.” Rafael picked up his fork and resumed eating. “And they are really good.” 

“I love you too.” 

Sonny could hear his heart thumping in his chest. He reached over and grabbed Rafael’s free hand. 

Nothing else needed to be said. After breakfast they would have to dress and go their separate ways at work but they would have a new understanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some folks know already but I live in a town called Webster, outside of Houston and about 40 minutes from the coast. During Hurricane Harvey, now Tropical Storm Harvey, I have been with my mom and sisters in a town called Pearland, also near Houston. We have had four days of rain. No water in the house yet but this may be the night our luck runs out. It has been raining for hours and hours. Feeling quite anxious!
> 
> Please keep Houston and the surrounding areas in your thoughts and prayers!


	3. First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny is enjoying his first time with Rafael when things go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So these first three chapter have a lot of repeated info cause they were written at different times but hoping to write some more drabbles today and keep the story going.
> 
> This was originally posted for ahumanfemale's birthday!

Sonny had never moaned so loudly in his life. He never thought of himself as being loud in bed but the feeling of Rafael inside of him was almost too much to handle. They had been dancing around this for weeks. Sonny, at first, was hesitant about exploring this part of his relationship with Rafael. But Sonny had a feeling that Rafael was it for him. He was a little worried that if they weren’t compatible in bed, everything would fall apart. But man, they were definitely compatible. 

He was gripping the sheets below him, twisting them in his hands. 

“Relax, Sonny.” 

He didn’t know how he was suppose to relax when Rafael was hitting his prostate with every thrust. Sonny couldn’t help but feel like Rafael was solely focused on his pleasure. From a slow, through prep, to the consistent rhythm of his thrusts Sonny had never felt more adored in bed. 

Rafael had one arm wrapped around Sonny’s left leg holding his body open for him and Sonny enjoyed the feel of Rafael’s hand squeezing his thigh and kisses on his body.

When Rafael had moved his other hand to Sonny’s erection, he couldn’t stop his hand from releasing the sheets and flinging itself into the air. Unfortunately, his hand came in contact with Rafael’s face. 

“Mierda!” Rafael had yelled, untangling them. The loss of Rafael inside him and the horror of hurting his lover, made his arousal quickly disappear. 

“Oh my God! Rafi, I’m so sorry.” Rafael had his hand up to his face and Sonny noticed blood had already started to flow. He moved to his nightstand grabbing tissues, that should have been used for post-coital clean up, and not a bloody nose. 

“It’s ok. I’m fine.” Rafael’s voice sounded cut off and muffled from having his hand over his face. Sonny handed him a tissue and used the others to clean up the blood on Rafael’s face and hand. 

“Fuck. Rafi?” Rafael got up from the bed and went to the bathroom shutting the door behind him. 

Sonny had ruined everything. They relationship had such a slow progression, which was mostly Sonny’s fault. Their relationship had definitely been more intellectual than physical. It wasn’t that Sonny didn’t want that with Rafael, he just felt this relationship was much more than their attraction. Sonny did not sleep with someone unless he thought it was something that would last. Maybe that was the effect Catholic guilt had on him. 

Sonny could hear Rafael cursing in the bathroom. He felt like such an idiot. Sonny quickly dressed and left the bedroom to find his shoes. He knew it was stupid but he couldn’t quite fight back the tears as he sat on the couch trying to get his shoes back on.

He had ruined everything. 

“Sonny?” Sonny lifted up his head to see Rafael walking towards him, with his boxers thrown on, and hand still clasped over his nose, holding a tissue. “What are you doing?” 

Sonny quickly wiped the tears away from his face. “I figured I should leave.” 

“Don’t leave.” Rafael sat next to him on the couch. 

“I feel like an idiot.” Sonny whispered. He felt sick to his stomach, that even though Rafael was asking him to stay it may only be because Rafael didn’t want to kick him out so late. 

“Sonny,” Rafael placed his free hand on Sonny’s thigh, and tentatively removed his tissue from his nose. Sonny noticed the bleeding had seemed to stop. 

“Sonny, I love you. You don’t need to leave. Stay.” 

Sonny smiled at his sweet lover, who had a bruise forming around his nose and below his right eye. 

“You do?” Rafael’s ‘i love you’ was still in the air, it had only been said once before and Sonny couldn’t help crave those words. 

Sonny rested his head on Rafael’s shoulder, “I love you too.” 

The words were true and it felt really great to say them. Sonny knew he would replay this moment over and over again for the rest of this life. Sonny would always remember this night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Mom's house is still safe from water! THE STORM HAS ALMOST PASTED!!


	4. The Suprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny goes to his apartment to pack up for two weeks vacation with Rafael. He reflects on the state of their relationship and is surprised by an announcement from Rafael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what this mess is. Fluff. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter! Every comment is appreciated!

Sonny looked over his neglected apartment. His initial attempts to take things slow with Rafael had not been successful. Within months of their relationships’ start Sonny was spending most nights at Rafael’s. He wasn’t complaining. 

His mood at SVU had greatly improved, dealing with the harsh realities was easier to endure with a partner. He could talk to Rafael when he was feeling overwhelmed or they could simply sit with each other. This comfort went both ways, Rafael learned to confide in Sonny after years of dealing with his work alone. 

This trip back would be the third time this month he had gone back to get clothes. Despite the times Rafael would whine when he slept at his place, Rafael still hadn’t asked him to officially move in. He was surprised when he asked him to pack enough clothes for two weeks. They had coordinated their vacation time so they could spend it together. 

Sonny was curious about the timing, since during the two weeks it would be one year since they started dating, well, approximately. Pinning down an exact anniversary was tricky. 

He put his duffel bag near the door and went to make one last check in his kitchen to make sure nothing would spoil while he was away. Rafael had been to his apartment a quite a few times. Mostly because Sonny liked to cook in a kitchen he was familiar with. Sonny had been nervous about having Rafael at his place for too long. His family tended to drop by unannounced, mainly Bella since she lived nearby. 

He had introduced Rafael as ADA Barba to his family at Bella’s wedding but he was pretty sure they had figured it out he was his boyfriend. Bella, very pregnant, was going to run off with Tommy to get married, not wanting the Carisi family to foot the bill for an expensive wedding. Sonny couldn’t have that! He and Rafael arranged for the anxious couple to have a wedding at the courthouse. Rafael had gotten a friend to officiate and Sonny convinced the courthouse clerk to let him use the room for an hour. He may have gone overboard with the decorations but he wanted his little sister to have a wonderful wedding. 

The event was memorable. After Bella and Tommy’s wedding when the Carisi’s were walking the newly married couple to their “just married” painted car, Sonny stopped Rafael. 

“I should have introduced you as my boyfriend, or my partner, or I dunno.” Sonny sighed, “Not ADA Barba.” 

Rafael didn’t tell Sonny he was disappointed or angry, he simply took Sonny’s hand in his as they stood at the top of the courthouse. 

“There’s no rush. We will tell them whenever you are ready.” Rafael had told him.  
The hardest part was that Sonny was ready to disclose to their friends and family but something always seemed to come up. A bad case or a family crisis (usually the Carisi’s) would make it near impossible to talk about. 

It was easier to start with work. Rafael disclosed with the DA’s office although Sonny was afraid it would affect their ability to work together. After that Sonny knew he had to disclose with Liv.  
Liv had been extremely supportive and even encouraged him to tell the squad. Sonny started with Amanda, they had a special friendship but since he had started dating Rafael, he had spent less time with her. She understood but was a bit cross with him for waiting so long. He promised to babysit for free to make up for the secrecy. 

Sonny’s phone buzzed as he was finishing up in the kitchen. He checked the screen and it read ADA Barba. He really should changed that. 

“Hey, babe.” Sonny answered. 

“You still at the apartment?” Rafael inquired. 

“Yes.” Sonny replied, amused by Rafael’s impatience. 

“Wait, there. I’m about to head up.” 

Sonny was confused. “Rafi, I told you I would only be a hour.” 

He heard Rafael chuckle, “I happen to be on this side of town.”

“Surrrre.” Sonny smiled, “You can just admit you missed me.” 

He didn’t need to see Rafael to know the man was probably rolling his eyes at being teased. 

“Well, come on up, I’ll be here.” 

“Okay, Sonny. See you soon.” 

Sonny went to sit on his couch and wait for Rafi. He didn’t believe Rafael for a second that he just happened to be on the completely opposite side of town from work and his apartment. He picked up a European travel book off his cluttered coffee table to pass the time waiting for Rafi. 

Rafael had once commented on Sonny’s coffee table, it had almost a dozen books about travel stacked on it. 

He had asked Sonny where all he had been. Sonny had felt embarrassed to admit he had never been out of the country. Rafael had assured him that he had nothing to be embarrassed about. He admitted if it hadn’t been for his Harvard friends he may not have never traveled overseas. 

Sonny learned that night that Rafael’s first trip to Europe was with Rita Calhoun and her family. She apparently thought it was a crime he had never been to Paris and convinced him he should go to with her on their Calhoun family annual Europe trip. Sonny didn’t see a problem with that until Rafael told him he had to pretend to be Rita’s boyfriend. Sonny had thought it was hilarious. 

Rafael had grabbed Sonny’s Europe coffee book off the table and opened it to find the section on France. Sonny had tried to grab it back but Rafael refused. Sonny had been using his passport as a bookmark and it fell out during their struggle. 

“You have a passport?” Rafael asked. 

Sonny had turned red and snapped, “Yes! I have a passport with no stamps. I’m just a dumb kid from Staten Island who is never going to use the damn thing!” 

He had stormed off to the bedroom. 

Rafi had come in to apologize even though Sonny told him he hadn’t done anything wrong. That night had been one of the few times they had made love in Sonny’s apartment. 

Sonny blushed remembering that night. 

The knock on his door, dragged him from his thoughts and memories. Sonny tossed the travel book back on the coffee table and grabbed his duffle bag before opening the door. 

Rafael stood in the doorway, looking as handsome as usual. 

“I’m all packed up!” Sonny smiled. As he spoke he noticed a serious expression on Rafael’s face. 

“Can we sit and talk?” Rafael entered the apartment walking past Sonny to the couch. 

“Uh, sure.” Sonny suddenly felt nauseous, dropping his bag by the door and going over to sit on the couch with Rafael. Everything was going so well. Liv and the DA made everything work seamlessly after the disclosure. Sure, Rafael couldn’t prosecute cases that Sonny was leading but if anything that put less stress on their relationship. Sonny had very little doubts about the strength of their relationship. The last time Sonny thought they would break up was when Sonny gave Rafael a bloody nose in bed. After that, Sonny figured there wasn’t anything they couldn’t handle. 

“Rafi, what’s up?” Sonny took Rafael’s hands in his, slightly fearful but mostly anxious. 

“Sonny. I haven’t been completely honest.” 

Sonny heart was racing a mile a minute. Not honest? Rafael was the most honest person Sonny knew. So honest he could be insulting at times. 

“You told me to apply for the promotion in the DA’s office and I told you I wasn’t interested.” 

Work related, okay, Sonny could take a little white lie. 

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up, but I got it. You are looking at Manhattan's newest Exec. ADA!”

Rafael smiled, a full smile, that made his laugh lines crease. Sonny remembered that Rafael had been hesitant to apply for the position. It consisted of more office work, assigning ADA’s to cases and less time in the courtroom but the pay was better, which was attractive to Rafael. 

“Wow! Congrats, Rafi.” Sonny pulled Rafael’s hand to his lips and gave a quick kiss. 

Rafael’s eyebrow raised, “That's all I get? Congrats, Rafi?” 

Sonny would have been annoyed but he could tell Rafael’s tone was playful and maybe a bit horny. Sonny rolled his eyes before gently forcing Rafael’s back to the couch and kissed him soundly. Making out like teenagers hadn’t been on his agenda today but Sonny was flexible. He explored Rafael’s mouth with his tongue and enjoyed feeling Rafael’s upper body relax underneath him.

Sonny pulled away, panting, already feeling the flush of arousal.

“Well, Mr. E.A.D.A, what will you do with your raise?” Sonny inquired. Sonny wasn’t actually looking for an answer as he moved to unzip Rafael’s pants. 

Rafael moaned as Sonny moved to the floor and positioned himself between Rafi’s legs. 

“Wait, wait!” Rafael called out. 

Sonny tried not to look to shocked. Rafael, asking him to wait before blowing him, that was odd. 

“I didn’t just get a raise.” 

Sonny decided being on his knees was only fun if he was giving Rafael some pleasure. He moved back onto the couch, confused about why they needed to pause. 

“I got a bonus as well.” 

Sonny wasn’t sure he had seen the look on Rafael’s face before. If he had to name it he would say he looked giddy. 

“Hey, that’s great!” Sonny smiled, “Now can I reward you?” He attempted to move closer to Rafael but Rafi put his hand on Sonny’s chest to keep him back. 

Sonny felt a bit confused as Rafael reached for his book on the coffee table. He hand went straight to Sonny’s passport and pulled it out of the book. 

“Since we have some time off, I was thinking we could go on a trip.” 

Sonny was at a loss for words. “Seriously?” 

“Yeah, I booked our flight to Paris. We leave in two days.” 

Sonny was frozen. He didn’t know what to say. His dream was to travel and he had basically given on that dream when he started law school and thought he would be in debt till death. Although he and Rafi talked about traveling, the demands of their jobs made it seem impossible. 

“Sonny, don’t cry.” 

What? Sonny hadn’t realised he was crying. He felt Rafael’s hand on his cheeks wiping away the new tears. 

“I didn’t mean to upset you. We don’t have to go. I can cancel the-” 

Sonny pulled Rafael to him and kissed him, deep and hard. He wrapped one hand in Rafael’s hair and the other around his waist trying to get him as close as possible. 

“We are definitely going.” Sonny declared after a few minutes of rough kisses. “I need that stamp on my passport.” 

Rafael grinned at him and Sonny wondered how he had become so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was sunlight today in Houston. 
> 
> SUNLIGHT! 
> 
> On a serious note, it seems like the neighborhood where I work received the most rain in the city. So although my living situation is stable, my work life may be crazy for awhile.


	5. The Paris Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets of Sonny and Rafael's Paris Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to get a little smutty but meh, might not have worked.
> 
> All mistakes are mine. I went back to work Wednesday, for teacher prep before the students come back after the Hurricane. SO I am a bit tired but very grateful my school only mildly damaged. 
> 
> Comments are the best...even when they point out mistakes. :)

_ The Plane Ride _

 

Sonny was impatient from the moment they got to the airport until they boarded the plane. He had only been on a plane a few times and not for more than a couple of hours. He felt overwhelmed by the whole experience so far. They only had a few days to pack and get ready. Sonny had bought a French phrase book and he was working really hard to understand the basics. Rafael assured him they would be fine with his college French knowledge but Sonny didn’t want to depend on him.

He was awake most of the seven hour flight. Rafael was asleep before the plane took off. Sonny did have to admit he was adorable. Rafael’s head was on his shoulder and the girl in the window seat paid them no attention. Sonny got their blankets and pillows and tried to make Rafael more comfortable. He had barely made a sound when Sonny maneuvered him to place the pillow on his shoulder. 

Sonny realised, on the plane ride over, that there were few opportunities Rafael and he got to be affectionate in public. He had never held Rafael’s hand or kissed him outside of their respective apartments. Rafael, tucked into Sonny’s side on the plane, was a new experience. Each time the flight attendant would walk by Sonny would tense up. He couldn’t help feel a bit awkward. Most of his relationships with men barely got off the ground, he was too nervous to start something that he would have to share with his friends and family. Because of that his committed relationships had only been with women. 

When the flight attendant dropped by to give out snacks she asked, “Would you like an extra one for your friend?” She gave a sweet smile and Sonny could tell she knew Rafael was someone special to him but didn’t want to assume.

“Sure.” He smiled, “I’ll take one for my boyfriend.” 

She handed him the snack with a grin and Sonny couldn’t help feeling proud of himself. He loved Rafael, they had told each other many times. Sonny vowed to himself on the plane he was going to enjoy this vacation, show Rafael how much he loved him and when they returned they would begin to disclose to family. 

  
  


_ The Stamp _

 

“Sonny, it’s ok.” 

Sonny must have looked either nervous or impatient as they waited in line. 

“I’m just excited. Wait, are they gonna ask me questions? What are they gonna ask me?” Sonny suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He was in a new country, away from all his friends and family. He had only told his ma he was going on vacation. What if they held him? If there was something wrong with his passport. What if something happen to them? A terrorist attack wasn’t out of the question. 

“Mi amor, you need to breathe.” Rafael’s voice was soft and calm. The term of endearment made Sonny relax. 

“All they want to know is if the trip is for business or pleasure?” 

God, sometimes Sonny hated Rafael. He had leaned in close, his breath on Sonny’s neck when he had said pleasure. He couldn’t control the blush that started in his neck. 

He could swear Rafael was chuckling when the border control officer had to motion twice for Sonny to come over. He hoped his blush hadn’t made its way to his face yet. 

“Sir, are you here for business or pleasure?” the officer behind the plexiglass asked.

“Pl-pleasure.” Sonny shuttered, sliding his passport to the man. Why him? He knew the blush was in his face. Curse, Rafael Barba. He looked to his left and Rafael was getting his passport back from his agent, and he was smirking at him. 

“Welcome to France.” the man grinned as he stamped Sonny’s passport. Sonny could barely contain his excitement when the passport was passed back to him. 

He exited the control area and saw Rafael waiting for him. He ran up to him and opened the newly stamped passport, showing it to Rafael. 

“Look, Rafi!” 

“I see. The first of many I hope.” 

Sonny pulled Rafael into a tight hug.”Thank you, Rafi.”

“You’re welcome, Sonny. Now, let’s go be tourists.” Rafael said into Sonny’s neck. 

  
  


_ Being Tourists _

 

Sonny loved Paris. It reminded him of  New York in a way. One corner could be hustle and bustle but the next corner could be a quiet. The hotel they were staying at was on a quaint side street with a restaurant underneath and a bakery around the corner. 

For the most part they could walk where they wanted. Sonny loved walking. He and Rafael often took extended walks through Central Park. They even had a favorite spot. 

The first time Sonny reached for Rafael’s hand they had been in the Louvre plaza. He was amazed by the building of the massive building and the glass pyramid. Rafael looked a bit taken back that Sonny had taken his hand. Sonny just smiled and didn’t explain himself. He didn’t have to. 

The toured the Louvre then walked down streets, across bridges and then approached Notre Dame. 

“It’s more amazing than I thought it would be.” Sonny had whispered as they entered. There was an evening mass in progress as they entered. Even in such a large space the haze of incense clouded the air. He could hear the choir singing an offertory but couldn’t see where they were standing. Their voices floated in the air like angels. 

“Can we stay for Mass?” 

Rafael rolled his eyes, “Must we?”   


Sonny knew Rafael wasn’t as attached to religion as he was. Although he was raised Catholic Rafael no longer attended church faithfully. Sonny had begged him to go to church with him even offered to go with Rafael when Lucia dragged him to church for a chance at salvation and Sunday brunch. But Rafael had been avoiding having Sonny meet his mother. He didn’t take it personally but he hoped once they came home they could re-visit that. 

“Nah, nevermind. We have a lot of see.”

“We should stay.” 

Sonny tried not to look too shocked. 

“But we aren’t sitting in the front.” Rafael mumbled. 

  
  


_ The Hotel _

 

The bed was very soft. After spending days walking through Paris, Sonny enjoyed a lazy morning relaxing in a nice warm bed. He looked over at Rafael who was still asleep. He propped himself with his elbow and rested his face on his palm. He knew Rafael must be exhausted because he was laying on his back and breathing heavily. Sonny ran his hand along Rafael’s chest.

Paris was great and he knew he could spend every moment of their week exploring it. But Sonny had a feeling he would enjoy being any place in the world if he could be there with Rafael. 

He continued to run his hand over the middle of Rafael’s chest until his hand it rested over his left nipple. Sonny was about to gently squeeze when Rafael’s hand flew up and grabbed his hand, stopping him from continuing. 

“Sonny.” Rafael groaned, opening his eyes slowly. “Twice last night was more than enough. I’m sore, babe.” 

Sonny couldn’t help but smile, proud he’d worn his boyfriend out. 

“You’re sore? Poor baby.” 

Sonny leaned forward, kissing the Rafael’s chest, enjoying the gasps Rafael made when Sonny took a nipple in his mouth. A few more licks and Sonny moved to the other one, sucking a little harder than he needed too. 

“Sonny. I can’t-”

Sonny kissed up his chest and worked his way to Rafael’s neck. He ran his hand down Rafael’s body, stopping over his developing erection. 

“It seems like it is time for another round.” Sonny grinned, caressing Rafael from base to tip, teasing with his fingers. 

Sonny gave a little yelp as Rafael flipped Sonny onto his back and pinned his arms above his head, holding both of Sonny’s wrists down with one hand. 

“ J'ai envie de toi.”

Sonny gasped as Rafael slipped his tongue into Sonny’s mouth without warning. If there was a competition for filthy kisses, Rafael would win. Rafael’s hands had migrated to Sonny’s waist, his right hand sneaking between Sonny’s legs, caressing his thigh. 

When Rafael pulled away, he was breathing heavily, sounding as tired as he professed to be earlier.  He released Sonny arms, Sonny moved his hands to Rafael’s neck pulling him close to him. 

“I don’t know what you said but damn, it was hot.” Sonny sighed as Rafael continued to stroke between Sonny’s legs, teasing his entrance. 

“I said, I want your body.” Rafael whispered, biting Sonny’s ear gently. 

“It’s yours to have.” Sonny grinned, spreading his legs, “Any way you want it.” 

  
  


_ One Place Left to Go _

 

Sonny had a pleasant ache on their morning walk through Paris. They had seen it all. The views of the city from the river, a day trip to Versailles, days to relax, a full day in the Louvre, a performance at the opera house, a Mass at Notre Dame and every monument they could visit. 

“Where are we going Rafi?” Sonny inquired as they turned on a different corner than they had on their previous walks. 

“We have one more place to go.” Rafael smiled, taking Sonny’s hand in his. Sonny loved when Rafael held his hand.

He didn’t think he could love Rafael more but this trip proved him wrong. Things hadn’t always been perfect, they had gotten frustrated with each other a few times but overall the trip had been like living in a dream. 

Sonny noticed tall full trees as they approached what looked like a park. 

“Rafi?” 

Sonny felt like an idiot when he spotted the Eiffel Tower at the end of the park, the trees no longer obstructing his view. He had grown accustomed to seeing it at a distance. 

“We’re here.” 

Sonny couldn’t stop himself from taking a gratuitous amount of selfies of him and Rafael at the end of the park. 

“Don’t you want to get closer.” Rafael chuckled. 

“Of course, but from right here I can get you and me and the Eiffel Tower in one picture!”

Sonny lifted his phone to take one more selfie. Suddenly Rafael’s arms were wrapped around his shoulders and his was kissing Sonny’s check. Sonny couldn’t help but blush. 

“Je t’aime.” Rafael whispered. 

Sonny lowered his phone and looked at Rafael, for once he was at a loss from words. He remembered meeting this man who intimidated him, then became his friend and now was his lover that he couldn’t imagine being without. 

“Te amo, Rafi.” 

Sonny felt proud at Rafael’s grin. Rafael pulled him along so they could go get closer to the Eiffel Tower. 

Nothing in Sonny’s life had even been as perfect as this trip. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those reading my other works, another update on Time is Borrowed is coming soon and the next chapter of Sonny will be right on its heels. :)


	6. Interlude: How Amanda Felt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amanda's feelings about Sonny's relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, cleaned up a bit. 
> 
> Next Chapter: Meeting Lucia -- coming very soon!

Initially when Amanda learned about Sonny’s new love interest she felt disappointed. Sonny had become a valued friend and the only male figure in her daughter’s life. His relationship with his mysterious boyfriend changed the amount of time they spent together. 

Disappointment was the only way to describe how she felt on a Monday night alone with Jessie and Frannie watching bad reality TV. A text on her phone from Sonny reading, ‘Sorry I can’t make reality night. Last minute date. I will make it up to you.’ She had a feeling that disappointment where Sonny was concerned was going to become more consistent. 

Then, when she found out who the boyfriend was, she felt betrayed. 

Sonny had always been honest with her even if she was secretive with him. She shouldn’t have taken the deception personally but she did. Dominick Carisi Jr. was dating their ADA Rafael Barba. Betrayed described how she felt when Sonny told her about Rafael at a cop bar one late night. Her face had felt hot with anger when the words left Sonny’s lips. Her anger only dissipated when she looked at her partner’s face, he was bracing for rejection. 

“I wish you had told me sooner.” she huffed but had kept a neutral face. 

Amanda felt relieved when she saw how Sonny and Rafael interacted outside of the precinct. Sonny and Rafael were treating the single mother to a fancy dinner. Liv offered to babysit and encouraged Amanda to keep an open mind. They were kind with each other with only a few barbs that were all in good fun. She had never seen Rafael smile quite so much. A genuine smile, not one of his famous smirks. 

At one point she had returned from the bathroom and saw Rafael running his hand up and down Sonny’s leg, appearing to be comforting him, probably reassuring him everything was going well. Relieved. She was relieved that Rafael and Sonny seemed to have a genuine healthy relationship. 

She felt jealously, not in a painful or angry way. But her jealousy was a wistful feeling of loss and coveting. It was strange to see the man she considered her best friend so in love. He was sitting at her desk showing her pictures from his trip to Paris. He was giddy with excitement. He looked relaxed after two weeks of bliss with his beaux. 

“Carisi.” 

His head shot up and he stopped strolling through his pictures. She could tell that he was confused by her neutral tone. She could tell him that they had work to do or she was tired of seeing pictures of his dream vacation but she glanced at the phone at saw an intimate picture of Sonny and Rafael in front of the Eiffel Tower. The picture was a selfie, Amanda could tell Sonny was the one holding the phone. It was slightly blurry, as if Sonny hadn’t been ready for the picture. Rafael had his arms around Sonny’s shoulders and he was kissing Sonny’s cheek. Sonny eyes were closed. 

He looked happy.

“I am happy for you.” Amanda said, “Well, show me more pictures!”


	7. Meeting Lucia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny meets Lucia Barba.

Upon their return for Paris Sonny told Fin about his relationship with Rafael and now the entire team was on the same page. He felt relieved to be able to be honest with the people he saw everyday. He didn’t mind their teasing either which was good because it happened often.

If Rafael wasn’t the prosecuting the case for SVU was working on he would drop by the precinct during lunch and they would go to Central Park. Sometimes they would sit on a bench and other times on the grass. Sonny’s jaw dropped the first time Rafael sit on the grass in a suit. Rafael had to remind him that before Harvard he was just a Bronx kid. The Ramble in Central Park was quiet. There they could have conversations about their pasts and continue to learn about each other.

“So you were close to your grandparents?” Sonny asked one day seated on their favorite bench. He had learned early on in their relationship that Rafael’s grandmother had passed soon after he started with SVU.

“When I was small I used to wish they were my parents.” Rafael had confessed. “I didn’t appreciate the sacrifices my Mami was making. All I heard was my parents screaming at each other. My abuelo y abuela loved each other, treated each other with respect.”

Although Rafael wasn’t crazy about public displays of affection Sonny dared to scoot closer to Rafael and wrap his arm around the older man’s waist, encouraging him to keep going.

“After my Father left. Abuelo took me to the park all the time. He wasn’t disappointed that I didn’t want to do sports but he did encourage me to be an active child. He retired from his job at the docks so he could spend more time with Abuela, Mami and me. He was diagnosed with cancer a few days later. He was only retired a few weeks before he died.”

“How old were you?”

“Nine. And I thought my world had ended. I told myself then I would never settle until I had someone who treated me like my Abuelo treated my Abuela.”

Rafael leaned into Sonny’s body, allowing Sonny to comfort him in a way he rarely did.

  
“What about me?” Sonny had felt brave. After he spoke Rafael placed his hands on Sonny chest and pushed them apart so he could face him. Rafael looked confused.

  
“To settle down with.” Sonny added,”I know it hasn’t been long but we have been serious for a while now.”

  
Rafael snorted. “Once you figured out we were dating, you mean.”“Look, I’m not saying we should run out and get married. I’m just saying I’m committed to you.”

Sonny’s face started to heat up as he finished. This would have been a great moment to propose to the man he loved but he didn’t want to scare Rafael with commitment if that wasn’t what he wanted.

“So you don’t want to marry me?”

Sonny had read right through the smirk on Rafael’s face. “I didn’t say that!”

“Well, you should probably meet my Mami before you even think about proposing. Besides I think I should be the one proposing.”

“Noted.” Sonny laughed. “But I have nothing to worry about. Mothers love me!”

Rafael just smiled.

“I should get you back to work before Liv sends reinforcements.”

The marriage conversation was officially tabled until a few weeks later.

***

Sonny had been a nervous wreck the day he met Lucia Barba. Lucia was the woman who helped countless children in the Bronx reach their potential. The woman who raised Rafael alone after his father left them with no support. Rafael talked about her like she was a saint.

Sonny skipped church that morning to spend the entire day preparing a dinner for Rafael, Lucia and himself. Rafael teased him throughout the day as Sonny changed his mind several times on what exactly to make.

“Sonny, babe, I swear she will be happy that she doesn’t have to cook. She’s not picky.” Rafael tried to comfort him when he remade his sauce for the pasta second time.

Sonny sighed, appreciating the sweeter than usual Rafael.

“Rafi. If she’s anything like you then I can’t make a single mistake.”

He smacked Rafael’s hand away from his sauce pan as an attempt was made to taste test.

“Go to your office or something. I need room to cook. You know how I hate cooking in your kitchen.” Sonny complained as he rummaged around the Rafael’s cabinets.

Rafael rolled his eyes and walked away.

Sonny didn’t really hate Rafael’s kitchen. He just found it hard to work in a space he wasn’t use to. They were both keeping their respective apartments and Sonny found it harder each day to not live together. Sonny had refused Rafael's first request that they move in together after Paris. The conversation had been awkward to say the least.

Rafael had been excited to ask Sonny but when he vehemently denied the topic was not brought up again. Sonny only refused because at the time he hadn't discussed his relationship with Rafael to his parents. But since Rafael's initial request the whole Carisi clan had met Sonny's partner.

His sisters had been ecstatic to learn that Rafael and Sonny were dating. Apparently the Carisi siblings had been suspicions about the pair since Bella's wedding. His parents were very accepting of their son's new partner. His mother adored Rafael from the first moment he stepped into the house and they bonded over their shared coffee tastes. His father however was a bit harder to win over.

Rafael and Dominick Sr. had little in common and Sonny dreaded leaving the two of them alone. Since their last family dinner he had begun to examine his reasons why he had refused Rafael. In all honesty Sonny had never lived with someone he was dating but he wasn't surprised to learn Rafael had a few previous partners that he shared apartments with.

Sonny had never seriously thought about living with a boyfriend before his relationship with Rafael. And now as he panicked looking for the right plates and table settings, he wish he had thought of it earlier.

When Lucia knocked on the door Sonny about passed out, he was still plating the food and had yet to serve the wine. Rafael calmed his boyfriend down by answering the door and leading Lucia into the freshly set dining room.

Dinner went off without a hitch. Sonny felt very confident in his meal, the presentation and his ability to be a great host. He kept the wine glasses filled, severed each course smoothly and didn’t roll his eyes at Rafael when he requested coffee to finish off their meal.

At the end of the meal Rafael looked over at his mother and asked his mother if she enjoyed the meal. Sonny was not prepared for Lucia's answer.

“I'm disappointed,” she told Rafael causing both of them to look concerned.

Sonny went through the evening in his head, trying to recall if he had said or done anything wrong. He knew, via Rafael’s own testimony, that his Staten Island accent could come across as brash, but Lucia was a born New Yorker so he didn’t think that would have bothered her. Rafael’s shocked expression worried Sonny greatly.

“You tell me about your young man, how much you adore him-”

Sonny was happy to see a soft blush on Rafael’s cheeks as Lucia spoke.

“You took him to Paris for a surprise trip and you told me how much you want him to move in with you-”

“Mami!”

“And I feel like I just spent dinner in the Barba household.”

After Lucia finished, Sonny saw Rafael’s face fall and look as if someone had kicked him in the gut.

“This young man, who is much younger than you implied, is acting like a dutiful housewife at your beck and call. You couldn’t even make coffee. It makes me think of Sunday dinner with your Papi.” Lucia paused her criticism and Sonny was thankful for a reprieve.

Sonny made eye contact with Rafael and he could tell it upset his lover to hear their relationship being compared to his parents.

“No disrespect, Lucia.” Sonny stood up and walked behind Rafael’s chair, placing his hands on Rafi’s tense shoulders.

“I didn’t know your husband but I do know that Rafael is nothing like that man. We have a partnership. Just because I enjoy cooking more than him doesn’t make me his ‘housewife’. I wanted to treat you and Rafael well tonight for dinner. He didn’t make me do anything.”

Sonny attempted to keep his tone calm.

“But we love each other and maybe we are an odd pairing, our age, our upbringings are definitely different. We don’t live together yet but it doesn’t mean I love him any less.”

Rafael brought his hand to meet Sonny’s and held it tight. Sonny was a bit worried but Rafael’s silence.

Lucia did not look offended or angry which surprised him. She was smiling. He thought that was odd.

“Wow, mijo, you were right. He is something else.”

Rafael looked up at Sonny and grinned, “I told you, Mami.”

“I apologize gentlemen if I misinterpreted Sonny’s willingness to host. I hope this doesn’t sour your opinion of me.”

“Of course not, Lucia!” Sonny replied, hoping they could put the misunderstanding behind them. After coffee and dessert which Rafael served, Rafael walked his mother out.

He began to clean up his huge pile of dishes, pots and pans, as he waited nervously for Rafael to return. He heard the door open and shut but didn’t turn to face Rafael.

“Babe.”

God, Sonny loved it when Rafael called him that. He felt Rafael’s arms surround him, his hands stilling Sonny’s from washing the bowl in his hand. Rafael let the water run over both their hands before turning it off. Sonny felt Rafael’s damp hands tug on him until he turned around.

“She must think I’m an idiot.” Sonny mumbled.

“No, mi amor.”

Sonny walked out of the kitchen and paused in the hallway, staring at the door. He listened to Rafael’s footsteps following him.

“Sonny, don’t go to your apartment. Stay here with me tonight.” Rafael’s words were soft but determined.

“Just tonight?” he asked.

Rafael wrapped his arms around Sonny’s shoulders and pulled him into a tight liplock. Sonny felt out of breath when Rafael released him.

“Tonight, tomorrow, a week from now, a year from now. Stay with me.”

Sonny nodded and allowed Rafael to pull him into the bedroom, even though they were leaving a huge mess in the rest of the apartment.

“You are amazing, Sonny.” Rafael whispered in his ears as he pulled Sonny’s tie off and began unbuttoning Sonny’s shirt. “You stood up to my mother.”

And that had definitely emotionally drained Sonny.

“I had to. I know how much your father hurt you.” Sonny thought back to their Central Park conversations. “You have never treated me the way your father treated your mother.”

With Sonny’s statement hanging between them, the couple got ready for bed. Sonny curled into Rafael, enjoying the warmth under Rafael’s soft covers.

As Sonny began to drift off to sleep, Rafael spoke, “Mami would like to invite you for brunch next weekend. Apparently she needs time with just you.”

“I told you mother's love me.” Sonny mummered. He felt Rafael kiss his temple.

“Whatever you say.”

Sonny wasn’t looking forward to brunches with Lucia but she was Rafael’s mother so he would learn to love her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am exhausted but I really, really, wanted to update one of my stories. ALL MISTAKES are 100% mine. I apologize. This has been barely proofread. 
> 
> Enjoy and comment! :)


	8. Proposal Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael's proposal plans begin...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! 
> 
> Since this is the season of WSWS verse I will be trying to update this a couple of times this week.

Rafael never had a reason to be on Staten Island until Sonny. After Sonny introduced Rafael to his family one Sunday evening, trips to the Carisi home became frequent. Over time Rafael became more comfortable with family. It amused him to watch the dynamic between the Carisi siblings. They squabbled with raised voices through most dinners but the affection between them was clear. He enjoyed conversations with Tommy when Sonny was too far gone in a sibling battle. Tommy had become more confident during Bella’s pregnancy and the birth of their daughter. Rafael was happy to see the change especially since Sonny’s still had his reservations about Tommy which he only confided in Rafael about. 

His engagement plan had started soon after their conversation in the park. It’s not that he didn’t want Sonny to propose to him but he felt this need to propose. Rafael honestly never thought he would feel that way. He had a few relationships that had felt serious and he never wanted to commit to a marriage. He had a poor example of marriage growing up and truly thought the desire to would never come. 

With Sonny, Rafael knew he wanted marriage. He wanted to proudly have a ring on his finger that showed he had a partner for life. 

At first Rafael had been hurt by Sonny’s hesitation to move in with him. He had felt it was important step for their relationship. He tried his best not to push the matter. After Sonny met his mother they had successfully crossed that barrier even breaking Sonny’s lease early. 

The move had been difficult. Their work hours made it hard to pack and unpack quickly. Rafael knew Sonny wasn’t crazy about his kitchen and there was no room for all of Sonny’s cooking gadgets. Rafael was determined to find them a new home that was truly both of theirs as soon as he could manage the proposal. 

The proposal was the reason he was in Staten Island. He had been welcomed into the Carisi family home with slightly perplexed expressions. He had texted Sonny’s sisters to meet him at their parents on a weekend Sonny had to pull a double at SVU. 

Rafael never had problems talking with the women of the Carisi family. Dominick Carisi Sr. was another story. Rafael always felt like Dominick looked at him with suspicion. Rafael hoped after today Sonny’s father would be assured of Rafael’s commitment to Sonny. 

It had sounded so old fashioned when he discussed it with Liv. Should he really ask Sonny’s father for permission to propose? Was it more of a blessing? They were both old enough to have been married before even have kids. Is this what Sonny wanted?

Liv seemed to think so from her conversations with Bella. Liv had mothered the youngest Carisi since the trial. They were a tight knit family and Liv believed the gesture would be appreciated. 

It had all seemed so clear to him on his way to Staten Island but now as he sat in the Carisi family home he felt nervous and speechless. His palms were starting to sweat from being balled up tightly.

When he couldn’t seem to find the words Mrs. Carisi looked concerned. 

“Rafael, are you ok? Would you like some coffee?” 

Before he could stop her she was gone from the living room and into the kitchen. He felt like he should wait for her.

“Are you ok, son, has something happened to Sonny?” 

Rafael swallowed hard. Dominick Sr.’s voice was worried.

“Sonny’s fine!” Rafael spoke up, feeling his nervousness increase as Gina and Theresa glanced at each other and Bella’s eyebrow rose. 

Sonny’s ma came rushing back into the living, steaming coffee mug in hand. As she handed him the strong smelling brew he felt his courage build back up. 

“So what brings you to Staten Island?” she inquired, sitting next to her husband. 

“I want to ask Sonny to marry me.” 

There was silence. Even Sonny’s sisters remained quiet. Everyone in the room seemed to be staring not at him but at Dominick Sr, who was looking at his hands. 

“So what’s stopping you?” he asked and finally made eye contact with Rafael. 

The question was asked casually enough but Rafael knew the elder Carisi well enough to know his answer was important. Before Rafael could reply, Dominick Sr. spoke up again, “Rafael, if I can be frank-” All the Carisi women rolled their eyes, Rafael wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a bad sign.

“We consider you family. You don’t need-” Dominick Sr. reached over and took his wife’s hand. “-our permission. But of course you have our blessing.” 

The relief that coursed through Rafael’s body had a stronger effect than the coffee, although Mrs. Carisi’s coffee was alway amazing. 

He wasn’t quite prepared for Bella to take his coffee from his hands and for Gina to force him into a tight hug. Theresa followed then Bella once the coffee had been handed off yet again. Mrs. Carisi was crying by the time she hugged Rafael. His throat tightened, worried he had somehow upset his lover’s mother. 

“I am so happy for you.” she cried. 

Dominick’s voice cut through the room as Sonny’s Ma released him from her hug, “Don’t cry yet, hun, Sonny hasn’t said yes yet.” 

“Dad!” the Carisi daughters groaned. 

Dominick reached out his hand and Rafael attempted to give the firmest handshake of his life. 

“Thank you for coming to talk to us.” he smiled, “I know the girls will appreciate being involved in the process.” 

“Involved?” Before Rafael could truly responded he was whisked away by the Carisi daughters. 

They wanted plans, they needed details but he had very little to offer. Mr. and Mrs. Carisi watched from the kitchen, talking to themselves. 

“What do you mean, you don’t have a ring!” Theresa exclaimed, when Rafael finally got a word in. 

“Well, I hadn’t quite-”

“We have to go shopping.” 

“Today! It can’t wait!!!” 

Rafael felt completely overwhelmed by the women, talking around him, planning the proposal, probably the wedding, honeymoon and if he let them continue his golden anniversary. 

“Ladies, thank you for being eager to help but I think I can handle picking out a ring.” 

According to Sonny’s sisters he could not. The Carisi daughters took him to a local jewelry store where their father often bought jewelry for their mother. 

The owner was an older Italian man, whose accent was a blend of Italian and Staten Island. He wore a grey three-piece suit and an expensive tie. 

“Ah, the Carisi girls, bringing another suitor in Gina?” 

Rafael noticed Gina turn pink as she replied, “No, Lorenzo, this is Sonny’s partner.”  
Rafael couldn’t help smile at the word partner. 

“He needs an engagement ring for Sonny.” Bella explained. 

He half expected the older man to give him a look of disgust or to treat him indifferently but instead he reached over the jewelry counter and offered his hand, which Rafael shook. 

“Congratulations! I dare say you have landed the best catch from the island.” 

“HEY!” both Gina and Theresa yelled.

“We must find you something special.” Lorenzo looked at him, Rafael could tell the man was sizing him up. Rafael had dressed in his typical suit combo, wanting to look nice for the family. He decided to wear a more traditional tie and pocket square color not wanting to seem too overdressed. “And probably custom.” 

The Carisi women insisted on gold, looking through the jewelry cases. Rafael did love gold rings. His grandfather’s ring he would play with as a child was gold. But he didn’t think it fit Sonny. 

He settled on a platinum ring, plain but beautiful. While the three women were looking at other jewelry that caught their eyes, Rafael talked to Lorenzo about adding an inscription. The man smiled as he wrote it down carefully on the order form. 

“That is perfect for Sonny.” he smiled. 

“Wow, that’s so corny.” 

Rafael sighed, as Gina leaned over the counter, reading the inscription. 

“Thank you for all your help ladies-” 

“Woah, woah.” Theresa interrupted, “we need to go home for family dinner, then we can finish proposal plans!” 

Rafael looked to Bella for help but her expression told him that he would lose this battle. 

Lorenzo chuckled, “I think you have been welcomed to the Carisi family, son.” 

He certainly had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own!


	9. Silver & Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny talks to Lucia about a proposal, he proposes and is in for a big surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! Second chapter in a day!!! Hope you all enjoy!

Lucia and Sonny became fast friends. After their first awkward meeting the two met for brunch often, probably more often than Rafael liked. But Sonny enjoyed spending time with his partner’s mother. She was a hard worker even in the years when she should be retired. Getting to know her helped Sonny understand Rafael more. 

They talked about happy times, Lucia would bring baby pictures of Rafael and Sonny would share stories of his sisters. They talked about darker times, Sonny shared his anxieties about his sexual orientation and his Catholicism, while Lucia confided in him some of the horrible things Rafael’s father put them through. 

He knew they were close. That didn’t stop him from being extremely nervous about talking to her about a proposal. 

He had waited for Rafael to ask. Nice dinners, trips to the theatre, even short weekend trips to a bed and breakfast, Sonny expected Rafael to propose. He hoped when he moved into Rafael’s apartment it would reassure Rafael of his commitment to him. 

Things were settled. No problems with the DA’s office or the squad. Their families supported them. And yet they just were together but not married. Sonny couldn’t lie, it bothered him. Little things here and there would remind him of the lack of marital status. They listed each other as emergency contacts but his NYPD rep had been frank about hospital decisions, ones Rafael couldn’t make unless they were married. Or when they went out with Rafael’s friends and someone would make comments about how they wouldn’t understand because they weren’t married, implying they could leave each other at anytime. 

It shouldn’t bother him but it did. He wanted people to know he was committed to Rafael. And more than that he wanted Rafael to know that he had chosen him not just to date but to be with for life. 

“You seem on edge today, Sonny.” Lucia commented as she poured him tea. They were doing brunch at her apartment in the Bronx per his request. 

“I need to ask a favor but it’s ok if you say no, I would understand, it’s just-” 

“Sonny, por favor, slow down.” 

He felt his face heat up. He didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of Lucia. 

“I want to ask Rafael to marry me.” He nervously looked up to see the biggest grin he had ever seen on Lucia’s face. 

She reached her hand across the table and placed it on top of Sonny’s. “Oh, Sonny. I couldn’t be more pleased.”   
“Thank you, Lucia.” He squeezed her hand.

“Now we have something to celebrate while we eat.” She got up from her seat and went to the kitchen before he could stop her. 

“Uh-” he stood up and followed her into her small kitchen. He felt the warmth of the oven as she opened it and revealed a quiche, he suspected the recipe was from a cookbook he had gotten her for her birthday. 

“Well, you see. Rafael said he wanted to but I-” 

“If you wait for Rafi, you’ll be a police Captain by the time he asks.” she interjected. 

Sonny chuckled. That sounded about right to him. He watched her remove the quiche from the oven. 

“I know Rafi was close to his grandparents…”

“Si.” Sonny could tell she was listening as she served their food. 

“He mentioned a ring, I was wondering if I could-” Sonny paused and Lucia movement halted as well. He saw her shoulders drop a bit and was worried he had upset her. 

He didn’t speak again till he had helped Lucia move the food to the table. She disappeared from the room and he heard her going through boxes in her bedroom. He didn’t want to disturb her but he felt anxious. 

She returned to the room with a worn ring box in her hand. She handed him the box and he opened it to reveal the gold ring Rafael had described. It was a simple band but the quality of the gold was expensive.

“When my father proposed to my mother, they had nothing in Cuba.” she sighed and sat at the table with him. “He put a string on her finger and ask for to start a new life with him, here in America.” 

Sonny had heard a lot about Lucia’s parents, mostly from Rafael, but this was a story he wasn’t familiar with. 

“They were married for years without rings. They built a life here, worked, saved, had me and my brothers. Over 20 years and they didn’t need a ring to be committed to each other.” 

Sonny sunk a bit in his seat, feeling a bit selfish for asking for the ring. 

“Then when I told Papi I was pregnant, he went out and bought Mami, the most beautiful ring and himself this band.” she continued, “He said, the ring was just a symbol of what he and Mami already had but he wanted Rafael to see even as a small child that symbol.” 

Sonny ran his hand over the ring with a new appreciation. He looked at Lucia, whose eyes were a bit misty. 

“I want that too. I want us to build a life together and I hope by giving him this ring, he will know how much a respect him and his life experiences.” Sonny could feel his throat tighten. 

There was silence between them for just a moment. 

“So, when is this proposal going to happen?” Lucia’s voice had lightened up and Sonny saw her put back her normal composure. 

“Well, I was hoping you could help me with that.” Sonny smiled. 

Over brunch, they came up with a plan. 

*****

Proposal day was a Sunday. 

Sonny went back in forth on when and where to propose. Lucia finally convinced him that location didn’t matter and that he should choose a place he felt comfortable. Sonny choose Rafael’s favorite Cuban restaurant. He knew it would be quiet on a Sunday afternoon. He invited Lucia. He knew his family would be angry at him for not inviting them but if the whole Carisi clan was there Rafael would definitely suspect something. 

Getting Rafael to the restaurant had been a challenge. They slept in, skipping Mass, which Sonny couldn’t find in himself to feel bad about. Rafael had tried to convince Sonny to cancel lunch plans with his mother multiple times. He had even manhandled Sonny back into their bed, trying to get Sonny to admit a day in bed would be better than going out to lunch. 

“Rafi, we can’t stay in bed all day.” Sonny had laughed. 

“How about most of the day, then we can take a walk in the park.” Rafael had suggested. 

Sonny had never seen Rafael pout but when he informed him they had to go to lunch with Rafael’s mother, he swore Rafi looked disappointed. 

Since then he felt like Rafael was rushing him, hurrying him up to get dressed, to get the restaurant, and he was constantly on his phone.   
“Who are you texting? Your girlfriend?” Sonny teased as they were led to their table. 

Rafael had simply glared but let his face soften as his mother walked in to join them. 

“Mami.” 

“Mijo. Sonny.” 

Lunch went by slowly and Sonny leg was shaking under the table from nerves. Rafael placed a hand on his thigh, “Sonny, you ok?” 

Sonny knew it was now or never. 

“Rafael, I know we started out slow, which is my fault, but I want us to keep moving forward.” 

Sonny couldn’t quite read Rafael’s expression. He looked anxious. 

“Sonny-” 

“Rafael, I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up with you each morning, argue over law theory with you, walk with you through central park.” 

“Sonny-” 

Sonny knew he had to act before Rafael interrupted. He got out of his seat and kneeled in front of Rafael who had already back his seat up, looking like he was about to dash. He reached for the ring box and positioned it in front of Rafael. 

“No, you can’t-”

“Will you marry me?” 

Sonny felt his stomach drop as they both spoke. Maybe he had misread everything. Maybe Rafael didn’t want marriage. Maybe he should have let Rafael propose. 

Rafael looked upset, worried, not how Sonny wanted to see the man he loved. 

Sonny opened the box and revealed the gold ring. He watched Rafael’s anxious face melt away. 

“Is that my Abuelo’s ring?” 

Sonny nodded. 

Rafael stood up and grabbed Sonny by the forearms forcing him to stand up. 

“Yes. I’ll marry you.” 

Sonny gasped as Rafael put his hand in Sonny’s hair and pulled him down for a kiss. Sonny blushed as he heard the applause from the restaurant patrons. 

Everything felt like a blur. Lucia fussed over them and the owner who had know Rafael since childhood insisted on paying for their meal. 

Rafael had put on the ring and seemed completely at a loss for words as they left. 

Lucia congratulated them again.

“Rafael, you still want to go on a walk to Central Park? Maybe your mom can come with us.” 

“Oh no, mijo. You two need some time alone.” 

Lucia said her goodbyes and whispered something to Rafael. Then they started their walk, hand in hand, towards the park. 

Sonny leaned in close. As they reached the end of the block, he paused. 

“Do we have to go to the park tonight?” Sonny asked. “I was thinking we could go home and celebrate.” Sonny hoped his expression was suggestive enough to let Rafael know how he wanted to celebrate.

The question was interrupted by Rafael’s cell phone beeping. Rafael let go of his hand and replied quickly to a text. 

Sonny took the moment of distractions to placed his hands on Rafael’s hip and pull him close, he leaned in hoping to convince Rafael to come home. 

“Rafael, I need you. Remember this morning, when you wanted to just stay in bed...let’s go do that.” he leaned in and kissed Rafael right behind his ear, a weak spot for Rafi. “We can get a lot more exercise in bed than a walk through the park.” 

“Sonny, we are in public.” 

Sonny chuckled at Rafael’s unamused tone. 

“And we are going to the park.” 

Sonny sighed, he could walk in the park with his new fiancee. He could be patient. “Sir, yes, sir.”

They walked into the park past their favorite section, to a wooded section of the park. Sonny absolutely loved holding hands with Rafael feeling the ring on his skin. Rafael had rolled his eyes when Sonny had brought Rafael’s hand to his lips and kissed the ring and his hand. 

“Sonny, before we go any further. I-There was a reason I wanted us to go to the park today.” 

Sonny wasn’t sure what to think, still riding the high of their new engagement. He was distracted by a rustle in the trees near them. 

What he was not prepared for was Rafael to go down on one knee and pull his own ring box from his jacket. 

“Wha-” 

“Dominick Carisi Jr., you are the most impatient man I know, you couldn’t even wait for me to ask you this one single question. But I love you, I appreciate your kindness and you make me a better person. Sonny, will you marry me?” 

If anyone asked Sonny, he would deny that he cried. But he was definitely overwhelmed. Rafael looked relaxed on one knee where Sonny had looked nervous. Rafael opened the box and Sonny saw a beautiful silver band. 

“I will.” he sighed. This time he didn’t hold back. Once Rafael was off his knee Sonny wrapped his arms around him and kissed him. He wanted to be as close to Rafael as possible, taste him, love him. 

Sonny did not expect clapping and whistles. He pulled away from Rafael, unashamed that his lips were wet from kissing his future husband. 

He really did not expect to see his family, his squad and a smug looking Lucia. 

“Rafi?” 

Rafael smiled and ran his hand behind his neck. “I have kind of been planning this for a while.” he admitted. 

Sonny felt a flush of embarrassment start in his cheeks and reach the tips of his ears. He had ruined Rafael’s proposal plans. 

Rafael lips on his cheek pulled him from his thoughts.   
“It’s ok, Sonny. This was the perfect day.” Rafael whispered to him as their audience came over for hugs and congratulations. Sonny was happy to have his family there to congratulate him. His sisters loudly gave their approval and bragged about helping Rafi with the proposal plans. Rollins was crying which Sonny thought he would never see. Fin shook his hand and patted his back. Liv pulled both Rafael and Sonny into a hug. 

When he got Rafael next to him, he reached his arm around his back and let it fall a little lower. 

Rafael leaned into his touch, “I have bad news for your lover boy. Everyone is coming over to our place for drinks.”

Sonny groaned, all he wanted was Rafael in their bed but he had to admit he liked the sound of ‘our’ place. He supposed he could put up with the people he loved for a bit longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Critiques are appreciated!


	10. Christmas Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael spends Christmas in the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drabble; meant to lead us into WSWS verse from Rafael's POV

Christmas night. Rafael imagined he and Sonny would be curled up on their couch. Their place, not Rafael’s or Sonny’s but their new place decorated to perfection even with all the wedding planning. Their eclectic tree had ornaments from both their childhoods. He thought they would be drinking wine and stealing kisses while looking at their fireplace. 

It was Christmas night and Sonny was still unconscious. Two nights previous Sonny had been pushed onto the subway tracks by a kid. A desperate kid according to the cops who picked him up. Rafael could still remember the feeling of Sonny’s blood on his hands as he tried to slow the head wounds bleeding. 

It had felt like the EMS took forever to arrive. And once they arrived it had been tricky to treat and move Sonny to the ambulance. Rafael had followed closely not waiting to let Sonny out of his site. 

As they started to load him up the EMT looked at Rafael and said, “I’m sorry, sir, immediate family only.” 

“He’s my fiancee!” Rafael had yelled, his coat, scarf and shirt all covered in blood from Sonny. 

“Well-” the girl hesitated while her partner began to close up. 

“I’m a lawyer, let me in this ambulance or I will sue you.” 

Rafael wasn’t proud of that moment but he couldn’t imagine trying to get to the hospital in an Uber or a cab while Sonny fought for his life. 

They let him on and he was careful to stay out of their way. 

Traffic had been a nightmare. With all the holidays activities, streets were closed while others were filled with cars. Rafael had never been so on edge. The EMTS were able to stop the bleeding of Sonny’s head wound in the car but he didn’t wake up. 

Rafael felt numb as he followed Sonny into the hospital and he was made to wait. He only snapped back to reality when his cell phone began to rang and Bella was on the other end. Being a no-show for her annual Christmas Eve ‘Eve’ party had altered her that something was off. He couldn’t quite remember what he told her but the call was short. The police arrived and began to question him. The officers were kind to the EADA, obviously notified that he was engaged to an attacked cop. They brought Rafael a small bag with Sonny’s badge, cell phone and engagement ring for safe keeping. 

Since then Rafael had been in a haze. Sonny’s family came in waves, first Bella and Tommy, followed by Gina and Theresa. His mother dropped by to leave him clean clothes when he called her and insisted that he wasn’t leaving the hospital. By the time, Mr. and Mrs. Carisi arrived Sonny had a room and Rafael had moved the lone chair in the room beside Sonny’s bed. He must have looked rough because Sonny’s Ma fussed over him and got him something to eat and drink. 

The doctor was quick when he came to visit and left little time for questions. Rafael found the nurses tended to take more time and answered his questions to the best of their abilities. 

All signs pointed to a temporary coma, Sonny’s body just needed time to heal. 

Rafael had hoped he would wake up for Christmas. Sonny loved anything to do with holidays. The day after Thanksgiving Rafael had been awoken to the sounds of Christmas music. Rafael knew he was in for a long advent season. 

All Rafael could do was hold vigil by Sonny’s bed and hope he would wake soon. Texts from friends, family, even his boss, wishing him a Merry Christmas, praying for Sonny, or offering him support went unanswered. He didn’t know what to say. 

He just wanted Sonny to open his eyes so he could tell him he loved him. 

Rafael rarely prayed but it seemed appropriate on the day people celebrated the birth of Christ that he would try to talk to God. 

He prayed. Each hour he was awake. He hoped to annoy God into giving him his Sonny back. 

He could hear the nurses and doctors laughing and talking down the hall from Sonny’s room. Holiday cheer continued outside the room where Rafael felt his whole world crashing down. 

“Merry Christmas, Sonny.” Rafael mumbled, hoping in vain that Sonny could hear him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are greatly appreciated!


	11. Happy New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael waits for Sonny to awake and is disappointed when he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own.

Christmas came and went. Rafael basically lived at the hospital. The doctors couldn’t be sure when Sonny would wake up so Rafael made it is mission to be there. Only one nurse gave him grief about constantly being there but when she saw their rings she backed off. She thought they were married and Rafael didn’t feel the need to correct her. 

He spent most of the days sitting at Sonny’s bedside. He alternated between reading through files for his cases and reading every WebMD article about head injuries. 

Sometimes he would just watch Sonny, the rise and fall of his chest, imagining they were home and at any moment Sonny would wake up and tell him he was a creeper for watching him sleep. But Sonny didn’t look like he normally did when he slept due to the ventilator. 

Rafael slept on the hospital chair that folded down to a cot. It was extremely uncomfortable but he didn’t care. 

Sonny’s family was in and out. They had been a comfort to Rafael. His parents could just sit with Rafael in silence while Sonny’s sisters could talk about random topics. The squad would drop by to visit and to make sure Rafael ate. They traded off between bringing him food and forcing him to the hospital cafeteria so he would leave the room. 

He only left the hospital once. He went to the office to catch up on work and then to their apartment to wash his clothes and try to take a long relaxing shower. 

The shower had not been relaxing. Their apartment was still new but it already had memories. The look on Sonny’s face during the showing, in awe and happy. Sonny kissing him in the closet, he had been happy they found a place where both their clothes could live. Their first night in the new apartment. Sonny had insisted on shower sex. Rafael had been happy to oblige. Memories haunted him and he had sobbed in the shower unable to stop till he heard his cell phone ring. 

He had rushed back to the hospital to be informed of a change in Sonny’s brain activity. He was told on the 30th that he could wake at anytime. 

The 31st, New Years Eve had been the worst. The sound of people on the streets and fireworks in the sky were grating. Rafael could care less about it all. He just wanted Sonny to wake up. 

New Year’s Day started out the same as all the other days. Depressing. Until, Sonny woke up. 

Rafael had been reading an article on coma patients when he heard a gasp come from Sonny. Rafael’s first mission was to calm him. He looked panicked and afraid. He pressed the nurses call button and they rushed in to help Sonny breathe on his own again. Rafael had to wait outside. Sonny had looked so scared. He had felt extremely nervous waiting for the nurses to leave the room. 

When he re-entered the Sonny was breathing on his own but he was asleep again. Rafael’s shoulders had slumped in defeat. He just wanted to talk to Sonny, to tell him he loved him.   
The nurses suggested he call Sonny’s family, that it would be helpful if they were there when he awoke. Rafael had. 

The Carisi’s arrived and sat, waiting. Sonny’s parents were glad to see him breathing on his own. When Sonny’s eyes opened again, he looked confused but not scared like earlier. Sonny’s Ma reached out and took Rafael’s hand. Rafael held it tight. He appreciated the support from her. 

“Omg. Is he awake?” 

“Thank the Lord!”

“Sonny?”

“Call for the doctor!”

Sonny’s face looked blank. 

The doctor arrived quickly. 

Rafael felt sick as the doctor talked to Sonny and he seemed very confused. He couldn’t remember how he got there and what had happened. If he forgot the incident that could be a blessing in disguise. 

“What I am confused about is this guy?” 

Sonny pointed to at him and he gripped Mrs. Carisi’s hand so tight that he was afraid he might hurt her. 

“Who are you?” Sonny asked. 

Rafael’s heart hurt. Sonny didn’t remember him. 

Sonny’s dad cried out, “Oh My God, he has amnesia!”

Sonny passed out and Rafael could feel all the eyes of the Carisi family on him. He started to tear up but he fought back them back. 

He had to be strong for whatever he and Sonny would have to face when Sonny woke up again.

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicating some time today to writing but wanted to get this out there.


End file.
